Behaviour Management: It’s not about being the Ogre in the room

Here’s the truth nobody really tells you when you start teaching: behaviour management isn’t about the rules on the wall, the seating plan, or how loud your “teacher voice” can go. It’s about people. And people are messy, unpredictable, and come with a whole suitcase of stuff you’ll never see on the surface. I learned this the hard way, teaching not just your average classroom, but full-grown adult men in prison. Men who’ve perfected the art of confrontation, who can spot weakness a mile off, and who won’t hesitate to test your boundaries with every verbal (and sometimes physical) trick in the book. And you know what? The biggest lesson I took away is this: how you walk into that room sets the tone for everything that follows. If you go in braced for battle, you’ll get a battle. If you go in like an ogre, ready to clamp down on every mutter and sideways glance, you’ll get resistance. But if you walk in with calm authority, a bit of humour, and the quiet confidence that you’ve got this, you change the game. Here’s the secret: turbulence breeds turbulence. Calm breeds calm. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying “let it slide.” Boundaries matter. Rules matter. Respect matters. But there’s a world of difference between being firm and being frightening. You don’t need to bark your way through a lesson to get results. You need to connect. Think about it: when a student walks into your classroom, whether they’re 14 or 40, they’re bringing in the mood of the morning, the stress of home, the weight of life. Your first interaction with them, that hello, that nod, that eye contact, can shift the whole direction of the lesson. Meet them with tension, you’ll light the fuse. Meet them with humanity, and you’ve got a shot at something better. In prison, I’ve seen guys walk in with their guards up, literally and metaphorically. They’re waiting for me to judge them, to write them off, to be the ogre. When I don’t play that role, when I set clear expectations but still treat them like people, nine times out of ten, they’ll drop the act. They’ll meet me halfway. And that’s when the real learning happens. One of my favourite tools for this is a simple one: my trousers. Yes, you read that right. I wear the brightest, loudest, most unapologetically colourful trousers I can find. They’re quirky, bold, and impossible to ignore. And here’s the magic. They defuse confrontation before it even begins. A learner comes in ready to kick off, but the moment they clock the neon florals or the full leg length Meerkats (Yep!), the atmosphere shifts. It sparks curiosity, sometimes laughter, and always a reminder that I am confident, present, and proud to own my space. When that’s combined with lessons full of meaningful content and plenty of personality, you’ve got the recipe for something special. Not just a calmer classroom, but a more fulfilling session, for the learner, and for me as the teacher. I have watched other teachers with their new classes, compiling their list of “classroom rules” that they make together and then display in the classroom. I have never done that. I have two rules in my classroom: don’t purposely set out to be cruel to someone, and work together. The end. Here’s the kicker: Behaviour management isn’t about control, it’s about consistency. Your class needs to know where the lines are, yes, but they also need to know you won’t lose your head the second they push. They will push. Every class does. The question is, will you respond with fire, or with something steadier, smarter, and ultimately more effective?